Here is my list of what I think are the ten best reasons we have for being a girl. Have a read and tell me if you agree, or whether there are any blatantly obvious ones I have missed!
1. We have a womb
Oh yes, the holy grail of the human body. We carry life, that my huns is amazing (admittedly a little creepy how a bunch of cells form from nothing and grows inside you and 9 months later out pops a child, a wrinkly, little poop machine.. ''aww''). Another amazing benefit of us having a womb is that we will never have the risk of someone coming up to us and saying 'Hi, you don't know me but you're actually my mum.. My dad said it was a one night stand and he couldn't remember who my mother was.' Nope, soz.
2. We have periods
Yes, this is the biggest thing we like to moan about. These little monthly bastards have the power to cripple us for a week. Ruin our plans to wear that beautiful white mini skirt that we had just purchased ready for our Friday night out. BUT, who doesn't get that split second of delight when you see Mr. P has arrived (Yay! I'm not pregnant) riiiiight before we realise it was a day early and you've ruined a decent pair of knickers. Livid
3. We cry, all the time
Definitely a blessing in disguise. Girls are allowed to cry, to weep, to sob inconsolably as soon as anyone in Eastenders dies. Imagine how difficult it must be to be a bloke and try and make it through 109 minutes of My Sister's Keeper with dry eyes. No fankooo.
4. Chocolate
If it wasn't for girls, Galaxy would be out of business a long time ago. Boyfriends even buy it for us when we are sad/happy/hormonal/tired. Winning. During our 'TOTM' we are allowed to guzzle down tons of this edible happiness with not even the slightest bat of an eyelid (anyone who dares to comment will soon shut up as soon as the word 'period' is uttered.
5. Make up
How devastating it must be to not feel that indescribable tsunami of happiness that you get when you buy new make up? Boys will never know how it feels when your eyebrows are perfectly symmetrical (and finally more than 4 hairs thick - fuck you my 13 year old self for plucking the life out of them) or when you have finally mastered the mythical art of contouring and actually have cheekbone definition and your face is perfectly blended along your jaw. Bliss. Also, if we have a horrendous outbreak due to overdosing on point number 4, we can actually attempt to hide them. Boys do not have this advantage.
6. Shopping
Female shopping is so much better than males. We have so much more selection and options. Can I get a whoop whoop? Men definitely feel that they have to splash out on more expensive labels and brands, where as women will shop where they please. We have no shame in buying cheap off eBay or second hand off Depop. You go girl.
7. Singing
I literally cannot drive properly unless I have a power ballad playing in my car (Jocelyn Brown - Somebody Else's Guy is undisputed king of car-aoke). We will sing when we want, loudly, proudly and hideously out of tune. When you and your girls are belting out a tune, we know we sound like Destiny's Child. Even if the truth is we are all wailing in the back of a taxi at 3am with kebab juice on our chins.
8. 'Girly things'
Fairy lights, candles, bath bombs and face masks. These are life. We all know how much boys moan about the pampering and swear us to secrecy when they've agreed to let us put the teeniest bit of Lush's oatfix face mask on their face. Secretly, their inner girls is doing somersaults and hoping that we suggest this being a weekly thing.
9. Being allowed to release your inner 13 year old
Girls are allowed to be cute. And I don't mean cute as in, 'Aww you're so cute making me breakfast in bed with heart shaped eggs'. I mean the 'Wow, are you wearing unicorn pyjama's with cat slippers...' kind of cute.
It is acceptable for us to still buy clothes with Barbie on them. To wear Jellie Shoes. To have pink fluffy clutch bags. To have glittery multi-coloured nails for holiday and sip cocktails out of twirly straws with little umbrellas.
Gutted, boys.
10. We have girlfriends
Yeahhh, so boys have got their best mates. They can drink beer, play Fifa for hours on end whilst sitting in toxic clouds of their own farts only coming up for air to order pizza.
Us girls, do friendship so much better. We talk, we give good advice. We can do sophisticated brunches, sipping our champagne with the oh-so-posh floating strawberry. But we can also do the true love side. Rubbing your bessie's fake tan in on her back. Spooning in bed at 4am, drunk on cheap prosecco and wine talking about deep things, like true love, the meaning of life and most importantly, which Kardashian we are most like.
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